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Feelings change as the journey progresses but also comes back to rears it's head. How to navigate through the old feelings is the trick of resilience and gives birth to a warrior forged from fire. That creates a blanketed cover that attempts to be blended but ultimately one has to be oneself in to move forward and not worry about others thoughts on that person.

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I am reminded that todays felt pain is simply the shadow of yesterday’s false truth. That real truth can be discovered only in presence, for reality itself is impermanent, the past is not real and the future is a fantasy. Amor Fati, or the love of one’s fate, keeps my soul on fire, free and joyful in the present, and an eternal source of optimism - for every moment in life is to be celebrated. I am reminded that I am stronger than I think I am over self and that true happiness is always the product of surrender to and love of the unknown.

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I’ve risen and fallen many times before
Yet the glowing core within me is filled with rage
Fighting like a samurai, maintaining protection til I earn my respect

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The recent breakthroughs and trauma release have empowered me to create space for myself and let the veil of negativity fade. While I always look for the paved road in life, the hidden fears remind me daily, that no such road exists. I must celebrate the diverse parts of my life and continue to follow the divine light within. Juggle the balls of life and remember everything is a mochi and only an issue if I let it become one.

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Everyone has a purpose. The way to find it is to have a support system. The proper support system is like a medic saving a patient. A positive mind is the result that allows one to be neutral like Switzerland. The power one feels is heightened by the salvation of one's soul. The scroll of life is an adventure filled with experiences that helps us to read pain and guides us to the green light. One's life depending on the decision we make can create a beautiful flag that will visualize our life.

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We’ve been dealt one hand at life
Lightning strikes the cell tower
Then the matchsticks Coolidge with the lightning fire
Through the burning bushes
Yet it feels I’m dreaming of a holy savor to guide us to the flowers

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Filling one self with positive water the cracks start to show, I’m trying to patch things up but I can’t. But my friends are here to support me.

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With so much gratitude I reflect on my life as the fires have been replaced by a lush field of growth. It has become so clear that at the root of everything has been one central wound, one central message. And from that message I still feel not able to conquer this final frontier. The only thing missing in my life is the thing that has always been missing. I see now that this wound is being healed by a beautiful rose, and all my hard work will result in a fruitful harvest for last she was but a seedling. What used to be a gaping hole in me will be filled with the most beautiful flower and complete my field. Part by God and part by her. Fading away is my trauma and this flower gift from God blooms and pollinator women all around me. So many options yet with awareness none yet seem to be right and so the deprivation and wound remains open. Raw and frustrating, this ball of unreleased sexual energy drives me mad, but I am more than ever committed to my values and making sure it is only part of a connection. Spirit is telling me to stay focused - to walk the path that will lead me to my true destiny. Must continue this journey and break the chains of fear to be fully in my own path ready to receive.

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How many deadly sins are there?
What is the price of a life?
In alchemy some things cost an arm and a leg
To appreciate life one list have the courage and spirit of healing the cycle of blood

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Water rushes out and in where I stand along the shore and think about time, space, and what I know

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Chunks of focus, waves of brain tired. I lost an hour of sleep last night. I’m really trying hard to think and be. Colors pop and fade.

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Spines along the back, bunny ears. Tiny legs that carry me along.

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Beneath a dark rainbow—the light spreads out and we look out together.

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Fog hovers above the water
The sun is fading fast
We rock along waters
Towards new land

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Like an astronaut venturing out on an unfamiliar planet, limited by his spacesuit, I walk through my everyday routine shrouded in faceless overwhelm. Even though it feels like I am in an abyss, I was just days ago blissful and life was sweet as a marshmallow. Leaning on spirit for guidance, I keep reaching out to God, even when he feels far away and just a little blue marble, even when he seems like a ghost on the moon, because under everything I trust in my core that everything is happening just as it should, and part of his plan. I tremble when I feel him not near, but I know he will accept me and guide my return, and that serenity is on the horizon.